Days in the life of an RSPCV Leader
by Naz2k3
Summary: I have finally updated, which means more Vivi protecting, more Amarant bashing and maybe the odd zany bit...
1. Vday!

Disclaimer- I don't own anything from Squaresoft, okay? But I do own the RSPCV (The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vivi)  
  
Best song to listen to during this chapter- Simple and clean (Kingdom Hearts)  
  
This society was originally made because Amarant flattened Vivi in Cjh.Y2k3, so I created a group, which started of only a few members, to seek and destroy Amarant wherever he says the dreaded phrase (I'm too cool to.(shudders)) This is my story, as the leader of this ever growing organization (whew, big word!), to finally eliminate the intended target (Amarant), and to protect the beloved, innocent Vivi! (Never mind may, this WILL contain major Amarant bashing!)  
  
Day 1: V day.  
  
(Diary Note) Today I witnessed the most unimaginable, the most disgustingly thing possible. Vivi was flattened, by that (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) (beep!) Amarant! (Don't you just love copy and paste!) I have decided to put a stop to the endless torture that is Vivi getting harmed, I must destroy Amarant!  
  
(At a secret warehouse somewhere in the middle of nowhere.) Naz(me)- Ladies, gentlemen and gentlechocobo. Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Naz- .I have called you here today to put an end to the endless violence that is issued on Vivi. Do you know who the main perpetrator is? Mr 188- Eiko? Mr 276- Steiner? Steiner- I heartily take offense at that! Mr 276- Sorry. Mikoto- Kuja? Scottish Superstar- Oranges! Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Naz- No, Amarant! Dagger- Shouldn't we give him another chance? Naz- He flattened Vivi, remember? Dagger- Oh yeah! Fry the Bastard! Naz- 0.0 Dagger- What? Naz- Whatever. Squall- THAT'S MY LINE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Naz-',:-\ Squall- I'll shut up now. Naz- Oookay. Bobby Corwen- Kweh!  
  
The RSPCV is formed!  
  
Day 2 Rapid Research!  
  
(The start of a new day, and I walked into the Warehouse, only to find it has been turned into a hi-tech headquarters with research lab to match!)  
  
Naz- Wow! Mikoto- Ah Naz, we have already started without you, sorry! But you will be pleased to hear we have created a one hit kill rabid pink plastic flamingo set for Amarant only, but we are still in the development of the Amarant seeking tomahawk cruise missile. Naz- Wow! Mikoto- We just cannot work out the philanthropologics and someone must have mislaid an important algebra equation. Naz- Mikoto? Mikoto- Yes? Naz- SHUT UP!  
  
(Later that day, after Mikoto finally shut up, I saw a certain Steiner inspect a bug lamp taken from the Sims.)  
  
Steiner- Hmmm.(Touches it, is zapped and ends up unconscious on the floor) Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Dagger- Awww, innee cute! Naz- ',:-\ Mr 654- (o)(o) BOOBIES!! Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Dagger- Awww, innee cute! Naz- ',:-\ Mr 654- (o)(o) BOOBIES!! Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Dagger- Awww, innee cute! Naz- ',:-\ Mr 654- (o)(o) BOOBIES!! Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Dagger- Awww, innee cute! Naz- ',:-\ Mr 654- (o)(o) BOOBIES!! Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head and is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Dagger- Awww, innee cute! Naz- ',:-\ Mr 654- (o)(o) BOOBIES!! Naz- The power of copy and paste! Steiner- (recovering) Moo. Naz- ',:-\  
  
Oookay, that was weird. If you would like to be a member of the RSPCV, please say so in any reviews! Any flamers will be used to torch Amarant! Reviews! Bobby Corwen- Kweh! 


	2. Rats and Letters

Disclaimer- you know it all already!  
  
Thanks to all that didn't flame, all four and a half of you, and here is the list of the new recruits.  
  
TailsShadowVivi12 Long Live Vivi! Vivi for Emperor of the world! S.Queen  
  
CJH was already in the organization, but thanx 4 the gud revyu (Complaining yet, Lady_Artist?) Oh yeah, Era Yachi, no offence but, I'M A GUY!!! But your review wasn't that bad. so you're okay! DanceYourHeartOut must not have read the part about the flamers being used to flame Amarant, or she might have forgotten. Lady_Artist, it seems that more people find this sort of thing funny, even though they like Amarant, than don't, and I have taken the liberty of deleting that review. Use constructive criticism next time, eg, no calling peoples fics shit and calling authors morons.  
Day 3- ATTACK OF THE CAPITAL LETTERS!  
  
(Day 3 of our never-ending fight against Amarant, and things are going better than Yesterday.)  
  
Naz- (Into microphone) Will Mikoto go to the meeting room please! (Later, in the meeting room, Naz is trying to teach Mikoto the concept of shutting up.) Naz- Now Mikoto, when I say shut up, it means that. Mikoto- I know perfectly well what that means, I spent seven years studying the English language at Terra community colle. Naz- SHUT UP!!! Bobby Corwen- Kweh!  
  
(Later I was sitting in my office, watching Vivi get better on his sick bed on T.V., when there was a knock on my door.) Naz- Come in! Mr.2684847774767546875475724872498731937592378426725929742841327985267428940 5642534265261406423250624301821032614120279054023246167544861730513784378617 81765847310327412313261598010971981445- Errm.I was just wondering. Naz- Yes? Mr.2684847774767546875475724872498731937592378426725929742841327985267428940 5642534265261406423250624301821032614120279054023246167544861730513784378617 81765847310327412313261598010971981445- Who's Amarant? Naz- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head, is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes, jumps out of the screen, runs around on the carpet, bumps into a waste paper basket and is eaten by a small terrier)  
  
(It was near the end of the day, but something occurred.) Dagger- NAZ! Naz- WHOA! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT! Dagger- I KNOW, BUT I JUST CAN'T STOP! Mr145- SAME HERE! Steiner- I TOO HAVE THE SAME CALAMITY! Squall-(Regurgitated from the terrier) WHATEVER! Bobby Corwen- KWEH! Kat Slater- LITTLE MO! (Everybody is blown away) (English joke, you wouldn't understand it in America) (A couple of minutes later when everybody found their way back to the warehouse) Naz- SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO THEN? Steiner- I HAVE NO IDEA! Mikoto- HOW ABOUT TAKING CAPS LOCK OFF? Naz- GOOD IDEA! (Meanwhile, a kid named Neil, who is a BOY! (dark look at Era Yachi), notices caps lock is on and turns it off) Naz- Phew. Mikoto- I deserve thanks for saving you all because I. Naz- Mikoto? Mikoto- Yes? Naz- SHADDAP! Dagger- AAAAH! Capital Letters! Naz- ',:-\ Bobby Corwen- Kweh!  
  
Day 4- Rat Race!  
  
(We had recovered from yesterday's incident, and we sent Kat back to Eastenders, all was going well, then I turned up for work.) Naz- All right, everyone? Mikoto- Yes but. (Suddenly, a load of rats wearing different coloured tops with little numbers on them ran by) Naz- 0.0 Mikoto- Yes, that is our problem, we tried to get rid of them before you got here, but. Naz- Mikoto? Mikoto- Yes? Naz- SHUT THE F**K UP!!! Mikoto- I should have seen that. Naz- Shh! Mikoto- Bu. Naz- Shh! Mikoto- Wha. Naz- Shh! Mikoto- Hey. Naz- Shh! Just to let you know, I have a whole bag of Shh where that came from! Mikoto- (:-( Bobby Corwen- Kweh! (Rats run by again)  
  
(Later, I had a look around the labs) Naz- What's this? Researcher(Mr726)- Fingerprint reading grenades! Naz- Hmm? Researcher(Mr726)- Only Vivi can use them, if anybody else tries, they blow up, if Amarant tries, a nuclear explosion will occur! Naz- Brilliant! (Rats run by)  
  
(Afterwards, in the secret meeting room, guarded only by a rusty padlock and Bobby Corwen(Kweh!)) Naz- It seems that some people are against our fight to protect Vivi, and to destroy Amarant, but we must prevail! Mr.2684847774767546875475724872498731937592378426725929742841327985267428940 5642534265261406423250624301821032614120279054023246167544861730513784378617 81765847310327412313261598010971981445- Errm.I was just wondering. Naz- What!!! Mr.2684847774767546875475724872498731937592378426725929742841327985267428940 5642534265261406423250624301821032614120279054023246167544861730513784378617 81765847310327412313261598010971981445- what does prevail mean? Everyone apart from Mr (big number)- (Hand to forehead) Squall- THAT'S MY GESTURE!!! (Explodes, implodes, spontaneously combusts, performs Hari-Kari, plays ping pong using a grenade as a ball, runs around with his underwear on his head, is pecked to death by rabid pink plastic flamingoes, slips on a lost rat, jumps out of the screen, runs around on the carpet, bumps into a waste paper basket and is eaten by a small terrier) (rats run by, again.) Naz- ',:-\ Dagger- Hee hee. Naz- What's so funny? Dagger- The funny face! Naz- What? This? ',:-\ Dagger- Heeheehee! ( Steiner- Stop it! ( Dagger- (rolling on the floor in stitches) Steiner- . ( Dagger- :-p Steiner- I heartily object to your tomfoolery x-0 (Rats run by) Naz- Why the f**k do they keep doing that? Mikoto- A race perhaps? Naz- Hehehe. Rat race.. Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Nick from 'My Family'- Crapmice! (I can just hear CJH's screams of terror as he reads this!) Naz- Why the madness, why? Flying Pink and Purple Elephant- I dunno (flies off) Naz- 0.0 (guess what, yep, the rats again) Bobby Corwen- Kweh! Naz- Anywho, let's get on with our meeting! (From then on, the discussion was boring and pointless, like most meetings.)  
  
(Soon after, I was listening to Chris's hits 5, thinking up of new ways to kill Amarant, when I saw the meaning of today's weird event.) Naz-(Looking down on the ground) What the? (Rats are furiously running towards a ribbon, many fall and get trampled on by others. Finally a very fat brown rat with the number 69 crossed the finish line. It performs a jig, stand first place on a podium, then Cloud comes and uses Omnislash on it) Naz- Thanx Cloud ^_^ Cloud- No prob, call AVALANCHE exterminators anytime there is a rat race! (winks at camera) Naz- 0.0.  
  
Wow, over 1000 words there! Again. REVIEW AND JOIN!!! On a final note, FLAMING ME MEANS AMARANT GETS TORCHED, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T REVIEW! Unless, that is, you use constructive critiscism (Dark look at Lady_Artist) Anywho, Ciao! 


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